Sex and Relationships

I'm 30 years old, I'm a virgin and no, it's not a romantic comedy

They also exist. The women who are around thirty still have not slept with anyone or they have done it relatively recently. A topic that ends up becoming uncomfortable. Above all, taking into account that virginity is usually lost at twenty-four or before the age of 20, according to a worldwide Durex study. Today we talk to some of them, who tell us first hand their reasons, fears and particularity; and help us throw down a deeply rooted sexual taboo.

Paloma S. (35 years old), late but with whom she wanted

"I lost my virginity at 34. The reasons? I guess they are very varied. On the one hand, I think it influenced that I had a very traditional education and, in adolescence and first years of university, when all my friends lost it, I didn't even think about it. On the other, I am sure it influenced that I didn't meet anyone that interested me either at that time.

Then, after crossing the barrier of 25, the matter of remaining a virgin became a great ball. I was ashamed to recognize him and what the men with whom I related could think about the fact that I was a virgin at 27 or at 31. So I stayed a little away from relationships until, at 34, I fell in love with who my partner is now and it happened. It was not easy to "confess it", but he understood and everything was comfortable and simple. "

Cristina B. (34 years old), removed a "slab" from above

"I am 34 years old and only three years ago I lost my virginity, at 31. In my case, they were not ideological or religious reasons or anything like that. Since I was very young, I suffered different eating disorders and, simply, the idea of ​​undressing in front of a boy was not an option for me. Even after overcoming the most acute phases of the disease, I continued to feel very insecure about my body and I didn't want to meet anyone until thirty, more or less, when I gradually changed my mind.

In the end, I lost my virginity with a strangerBecause what I was very clear about was that I didn't want to have to explain to a possible couple the reasons that had led me to that "situation." For me, honestly, it was like get me off an issue that overwhelmed me. I think virginity can be a slab when you keep keeping it past the "normal" age to lose it. After that, it can be said that I have recovered what is the normal sex life of a person my age. "

Mónica S. (29 years old), a very clinical first time

"I slept with a man for the first time six months ago, simply because the subject had never arisen before. I'm not very partying and I don't like alcohol, and it is already known that today it is very complicated to flirt if you spend the day in cafes and go to sleep at 11 at night. But I met this man online and the magic happened, if you can call it that.

The truth is that the experience was quite uncomfortable, because I told him I was a virgin and he was put into clinical plan explaining everything that happened. Let's see, I'm a virgin, but I've been to high school and I've studied biology, thanks. At least, I feel that I have removed the "tare" from above and that next time it will be more normal. "

Clara J. (31 years old), virginity is already a part of me

"I'm 31 years old and it hasn't happened for me yet. I suffer from social anxiety and I have been going to the psychologist since I was 16, when my shyness problems began to become very clear. I didn't leave my circle of friends and meet up with boys or talk anymore. I have learned to interact with coworkers or friends, but intimate is another universe for me. In my 20s it became a problem, I was very cut to recognize that I was still a virgin. But if it was hard for me to kiss a boy on the mouth, how could I undress in front of him?

In the end I went on to recognize myself that it was something that the pressure was only going to get worse, and that when it happened it would happen. It has not done it yet, and although it is already part of myself and I am not in a hurry, it is not something that I am counting to the four winds. It has become something that I have to live with, like being brunette and having wide hips. Would I like to change it? Yes, but I don't torture myself every morning either. "

Cristina M. (33 years old)

"I am a bisexual woman, and I have known it since I was 16 years old but it took me a long time to" get out of the closet. "When I went to college, all my friends had slept with boys and talked about it without any hesitation. They knew that I was a virgin but I only told them about the boys I liked, I never talked about the girls, what was the surprise of all of them the day I told them that I had lost their virginity and that had been with one of the group, They freaked out a lot!

I don't know how it will be with men because in that field I am still a rookie, but when I slept with a woman for the first time it didn't matter that I was 27 years old. In fact, being from my group of friends she already knew. She was sweet, affectionate and very careful. He was aware that I felt comfortable all the time. I suppose that with the right man the same thing happens, but I think that among women it is much less taboo. "

Alicia E. (29 years old), take it out of the way like a band aid, quickly and suddenly

"The virginity is a subject that persecutes me and makes me very complex. The later, the strangest it is. At this point it is not a matter of losing it with a drunken person at night, but let's be clear, I'm 29 years old. Any uncle at this age I have encountered has made a smoke bomb when I told him I was a virgin. Even if we had a "something special." I have always been told that it is too much responsibility, and so the years add up.

It's something that embarrasses me a lot and I get very angry with myself for not having done it when all my friends did it, with the boyfriend of 17 years and abroad. But I wanted to wait because it was special and now it is a problem. I feel that in the end I will end up doing it with anyone who doesn't even tell me that I'm a virgin. Quickly and suddenly, like taking off a band aid. I know it sounds awful, but I think in the end it gives too much drama and importance to that first time and that is what has brought me here. "

In Jared | Neither now nor ever: that's how six women think they don't want children.

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